Letters to My Tutor…

My dearest Simone,

I plan to read more articles, but in the coming weeks I will write about reading America: Day by Day.  I had planned to do this when I originally mentioned reading the book, but never worked it into my update schedule.  I will likely revisit a few things from the past year before moving on.  Here’s a brief update on my state of mourning for my friend:

I do not feel as much that there is a hole in the world. I think I may have moved on to a more restorative phase of mourning. I can smile and laugh more genuinely when reminiscing as well as when suddenly reminded of him. In recent months, I’ve seen several people in passing who look a lot like my friend. I believe most of the times there has been a similarity with the nose and the shape of the face, but I suspect that if I were to stop the person the overall similarity would be less than the impression created in a fleeting glance. In addition to similarities in physical appearance, I’ve noticed people with similar mannerisms and/or speech.  Several morning ago there was something in the way a stranger greeted me in passing that gave me goosebumps. I don’t immediately recall specific stories of people talking this way during my childhood, but the stories exists and they were generally communicated in a positive fashion. I’m sure I could find several people from Mississippi who would say that these recent experiences were evidence of my friend trying to communicate with me from the beyond, and my most immediate and guttural response is in line with this thinking.  I try to take joy in the feeling rather than be dismissive of it. My friend very much believed in spirits and ghosts and having this feeling reminds me of him. The one other time I remember having this experience also involved someone who died suddenly, and it involved noticing people with similar voice and manner of speaking.  I wasn’t close friends with this person, but we had significant shared experiences and we shared close friends.  That time the experience occurred much closer to the death.

I will mix in some more updates on things from the past year over the next few posts.

Yours always,